Yvette Legge checked into Zafiro Palace Andratx, and discovered a Mallorcan sanctuary framed by pine trees and sea views.
I have never understood the appeal of camping. The idea of sleeping in a field voluntarily, fighting with tent poles and pretending a torch attached to your forehead is somehow charming has simply never resonated with me. If I’m going to sleep under the stars, I would strongly prefer them to come attached to a five-star hotel, excellent wine and a bathroom bigger than my first London flat. Which is precisely why Zafiro Palace Andratx works so dangerously well on me.
Set high above Camp de Mar on Mallorca’s impossibly beautiful southwest coast, the hotel gives you all the romance of nature without any of the admin. You still wake up to mountains, pine trees and sea views so pretty they look almost AI-generated. You just happen to do it from an enormous suite with cloud-soft bedding, fresh flowers on arrival and a view that makes your camera roll look suspiciously smug.
Nature, but with standards.
Arriving at Zafiro Palace Andratx feels a little like stepping into a better version of your own life. Check-in happens from a sofa with Champagne in hand, while your biggest logistical concern becomes whether to start at the upstairs Oasis Pool or the downstairs infinity pool.
We stayed in the Zafiro Club section of the hotel, which is essentially the grown-up, polished version of an already very luxurious experience. Think quieter surroundings, more privacy, beautiful Mediterranean gardens and exclusive areas that make you feel smug in the best possible way.
The suite itself was enormous, all soft neutral tones and sun-drenched interiors, with a terrace overlooking the mountains and sea. There was also a private plunge pool, which became less of an amenity and more of a personality trait during my stay. A bottle of wine was waiting in the room, daily treats appeared with pleasing regularity, and the bathroom came stocked with Jo Loves toiletries, the kind of detail that can genuinely alter the emotional trajectory of a holiday. Suddenly you are washing your hair slower and your own bathroom at home feels like it has been underperforming for years.
The Zafiro Club experience also includes access to its own private pool area, complete with a dedicated bar and premium food and drink menu. Upstairs, the Oasis Pool became my sanctuary: peaceful, elegant and blissfully free from anyone aggressively playing pool volleyball. Downstairs, the vast infinity pool curves towards the mountains, creating the kind of view that makes people go suspiciously quiet while they take it in.
It is impossible to feel stressed floating there.
The hotel’s All Inclusive Redefined programme deserves a standing ovation purely for rescuing all-inclusive holidays from their own reputation. This is not about wristbands, buffet panic or mystery meat. This is all-inclusive for people who usually insist they “don’t do all-inclusive.”
The freedom of ordering another cocktail, another beautiful lunch or a spontaneous afternoon taco situation without mentally calculating the cost is deeply underrated.
Breakfast at The Market quickly became one of my favourite parts of the day. Fresh pastries, fruit, made-to-order eggs, local cheeses, excellent coffee and enough jamón to inspire behaviour that would concern my GP.
Dinner, meanwhile, became a full event.
Mare Nostrum delivers refined Mediterranean cooking with the confidence not to overcomplicate things. Beautiful seafood, exceptional produce and dishes that taste exactly how Mallorca should taste.
At Tastes & Sushi Bar, Asian-inspired plates and expertly prepared sushi bring a more cosmopolitan energy to the hotel. It is chic without trying too hard, which is a surprisingly rare quality these days.
La Veranda is built for long lunches that quietly dissolve into the afternoon, where one glass of rosé becomes a lifestyle choice and nobody involved seems especially sorry about it.
What really sharpens the experience is how intuitive everything feels. Need restaurant reservations? Transfers? Recommendations? The concierge is available via WhatsApp, which meant every question was answered within minutes by someone infinitely more organised than I am on holiday.
Even the private airport transfers felt polished and seamless, removing the final traces of real life before we had properly arrived.
The spa is equally spectacular. A serene, beautifully designed space complete with hydrotherapy facilities, treatment rooms and an indoor pool that practically whispers at you to relax. The gym, meanwhile, is genuinely excellent, which is useful if you want to briefly entertain the idea of balance before ordering another cocktail by the pool.
By my final evening, I had fully adjusted to the rhythm of Zafiro life: slow mornings, long lunches, sunset swims and the vague but persistent fantasy of moving to Mallorca permanently and becoming someone who owns linen trousers “for daytime.”
As the sun disappeared behind the mountains and the sky turned gold, I sat on the terrace thinking about camping enthusiasts and their tiny stoves and sleeping bags.
Personally, I will take private pools, fresh flowers and turn-down service every single time.
The outdoors are lovely. But they are significantly lovelier at five stars.
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