The Oscars ‘Swag Bag’ is here

Oscars.

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10th February 2016

Now that the awards season is getting ever closer, all eyes have turned to Tinsel Town.

The fabulous people, couture outfits, high-profile events and celebrity gossip are already making it into the media.

Next on our radar is possibly the most famous awards ceremony in the world. The 88th Academy Awards is set to take place on the 28th of this month and will be hosted by comedian and actor Chris Rock. Arguably the souvenir every guest would like to get their hands on is the highly renowned golden statue. However, seeing as our acting skills aren’t quite up to scratch, we've decided to turn our attention to the next best thing - the Oscar-worthy goodie bag.

No A-List celebrity will go home empty handed as each will receive one of these ‘swag bags’, the ultimate metaphor for the surreal nature of the Hollywood lifestyle - this year rumoured to be worth a staggering $200,000.

So what could possibly be in such a goodie bag to result in such an amount you wonder?

It’s a far cry from a balloon and a slice of cake, but then again this is Hollywood, and here’s a sneak peak…

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1.

10-day first class trip to Israel (worth £55,000) and a two-week walking trip in Japan (£31,000) - for the celebrities in need a holiday (or two).

2.

Unlimited Audi car rentals (£40,000) - to arrive anywhere in style.

3.

Luxury Swiss toilet paper, (£200) - self-explanatory, although potentially useful for losing nominees?

4.

E-Cig vaporizer - for the ‘viping’ types.

5.

"Vampire Breast Lift”, (£1,900) - (this year’s choice of offering for the regular ‘cosmetic surgery’ option) created by Dr Charles Runels - the man behind the Vampire Facelift made famous by Kim Kardashian - and the latest craze in Hollywood. The procedure apparently uses the patient's own blood to achieve "a rounder cleavage”.

6.

An adult toy for female nominees - ‘for her’.

7.

Skin-tightening facial - a Hollywood ‘must’.

8.

Personal training sessions - celebrities are apparently rather aesthetically driven.

9.

Lifetime supply of skin-care brand Lizora (£21,000) - let’s hope they have the storage.

We are pretty sure we’d take the goodie bag over the golden statue any day, but here is a look at this year’s nominees anyway.

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